Fulfillment



So I've been thinking a lot.. if you know me at all that's not always a good thing because when I start I don't stop. but lately, I've been thinking about "fulfillment" what is it? can we ever get it? Fulfillment is when we are full, we have reached our purpose.

For me when I was younger probably 13/14 all I wanted to do was become a lifeguard for the neighborhood, That is it. That is all I was living for, I could not wait for the day I turned 15 and I could become a lifeguard. Now I've always had a pretty good Faith life, and heaven has always been the goal. But being a lifeguard was a pretty close second. I'm not really sure why... I think I thought it would make me cool and people would like me. I thought it would make me happy, and maybe I thought it would fulfill me. well, it didn't... it did give temporary satisfaction. It was so much fun! seeing "friends" all the time getting paid to hang at the pool was awesome! Then summer ended and it was over, all that for not nothing.

after I turned 16 it was all about getting a car and being able to drive..(I'm not sure why it's not like I had anywhere to be).. but I just keep pushing and feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't drive.. then it was the iPhone that is all I wanted. I did end up getting these things. Guess what they didn't make me happy, In fact, it gave me more things to be worried about: Getting gas for the car, why isn't anyone texting me back, now I have a car I need things to do... it never ends! I'm always going to want more. The more  I get the happier I will be.

I've realized that noTHING is going to make me to truly happy, and noTHING is going to Fulfill me. The only way to be truly Fulfilled is thought, God. I don't think I can be 100% fulfilled on earth there is no way. Yeah, there are a lot of things that Bring me joy and even happiness; Babies, Serving others, helping the with the youth group, teaching conformation, and having true friends. These things all give me live! they make me happy. but all of these things come to an end. (except true friends) but with these, I'm always looking for more waiting for the next year. Everything in this world has to end. there is nothing here that will make me truly Fulfilled. I'm always waiting for the next one. even with mass. Mass is amazing and it does make me truly happy and it does fulfill me, but it has to end too. I can't stay in mass forever. Getting to heaven and being with God is the only thing that will truly Fulfill me. that is what I am living for (or at least trying). That is what we are all living for. We are born to go to Heaven, and to be with the Lord!

I know this is really badly organized, and there are a lot of mistakes. But I was thinking and thought hey why not write it down... thanks for reading.

"Go with God"
"Only Kill in self-defense"

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